


life is tough, my darling, but so are you

by rxbron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Robron Week, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 02:24:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14126082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rxbron/pseuds/rxbron
Summary: He knew he would have bad days like this and there was every possibility he might harm himself again but with Robert’s support, he also knew he will make it past these bad days and become stronger each time.





	life is tough, my darling, but so are you

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my work for day 4 of Robron week! Unfortunately I can't take part in anymore days due to my busy schedule :( I hope you guys enjoy this fic. It's set a bit into the future where Liv wasn't sent to prison and Seb is around a year old! I really wanted to write more about Aaron's mental health as I like many others in the fandom can connect to Aaron on that level. All grammar mistakes are mine. Enjoy! x

Aaron slowly pulled off his orange hi-vis jacket and coat, groaning quietly when a sharp ache ran across his shoulders.

After stepping out of his dirty boots and using the wall for balance, he pulled his keys out from his coat and sighed with relief after double locking the front door.

He was safe now.

The reflection of himself in big mirror that hung on the wall just beside his flat door caught his eyes.

Aaron always thought the saying of “you look like you’ve just seen a ghost” was used to exaggerate and make things dramatic but when he saw his pure pale face in the mirror with his blue eyes making his dull colour stand out even more, he frowned angrily.

He tried pinching his cheeks to get a bit of colour back but the sound of a pot lid dropping made him nearly smash into the shining mirror.

He clutched to his chest, shutting his eyes tightly as he tried to focus on his husband’s curses from the other side of the door.

After allowing himself to breathe in three and out four for a few moments, Aaron opened the door to familiar ground.

“Hiya!” Robert greeted his husband, not facing him as he was too busy neatly putting away a clean pan into a cupboard.

The mixed smell of pasta sauce and washing up liquid hit Aaron’s nostrils and it made the summersaults in stomach turn quicker and made him slightly nauseated.

“I’ve made dinner, but we can eat with that film you wanted to watch later.”

Aaron watched as Robert skilfully dried several utensils in one go, kicking a bottom drawer close with his foot.

“Liv and Seb are having a sleepover with Vic tonight, so we have a free house finally.” He chuckled and began wiping the counter down but then turned his head to look at Aaron who hadn’t replied to him and was standing stationary beside the couch.

“Aaron?” He worriedly dried his hands and threw the cloth in the sink before stepping closer to his husband.

Aaron kept his gaze to the floor; today’s events suddenly filling every part of his mind.

Robert stood in front of him, his eyes quickly searching him, from head to toe looking for any signs.

The nervous acts of Aaron biting his lip and slipping his fingers under his sleeve to rub his scarred wrist made Robert’s heart drop.

“Aaron, what’s wrong?” The soft whisper and the warm fingers around his hand made Aaron switch back to reality.

He looked at Robert, still unable to find any words to ease the worried look in his eyes.

Suddenly, a memory from today flashed over him and he began to shiver and turn pale again.

Robert cupped his elbow with one hand and wrapped the other around his waist, pulling him closer.

“You’re shaking, Aaron. Please, talk to me.” The second the younger man heard Robert’s voice crack, a tear slipped down his cheek.

In those few seconds of silence, Robert swore his heart was going to burst with fear.

“I almost hurt myself today.”

Aaron bit his lip to keep back his sob when he saw the sadness in his husband’s eyes.

Robert carefully took Aaron’s cold cheeks in his hands and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

“You can tell me about if it, if it helps but the most important thing is that you didn’t hurt yourself, Aaron. I’m so proud of you and that strength you had at that moment when you made the decision not to.”

Aaron began softly sobbed against Robert’s hands and nodded, appreciating his every word.

Robert wiped his cheeks with his thumb and leaned in to kiss his left one before pulling him for a tight hug.

He wasn’t not sure how long he stood there with Aaron’s hands clutching his jumper and his tears dampening his neck, but he didn’t care.

Whatever Aaron needed, he got it.

When he pulled away from Robert, Aaron wiped away his tears, the harsh lines of his old hoodie making his cheeks red raw.

Robert reached up to run his smooth thumb over the red skin.

“What do you want to do?” He asked, letting his husband lean into his touch.

Aaron tiredly glanced over towards the kitchen, his eyes full of guilt.

Robert turned his head slightly to look back at him.

“A shower? A bath? Some food?”

Aaron looked down. He just wanted Robert.

“A shower would be nice.” He muttered.

Robert smiled and stood back, turning towards the spiral staircase.

“I’ll run–“ he turned around when he felt a hand grip his bicep.

“Stay with me, please.” He heard Aaron whisper, his cheeks flushing a little.

Robert smiled and pretended to smell his armpits, turning up his nose.

“Yeah, I probably could do with a shower.” He grinned when Aaron laughed at him, the twinkle in his eyes returning.

They found each other’s hand as they walked up the stairs towards the bathroom.

\---

After Robert helped his husband wash himself, he reached over to turn off the shower, but Aaron caught his arm and placed it around his shoulder.

Robert immediately moved his other arm around his other shoulder to clasp his hands around Aaron.

He leaned back against the tiles, ignoring the cold sting that hit his skin.

Aaron placed his hands on Robert’s waist, rubbing his hip bones that stuck out, allowing his fingers wander slowly over his v-line.

“How’re you feeling?” Aaron looked up when he heard Robert whisper over the water.

He bit his lip, flashbacks of today passing his eyes again as he blinked.

“Better...” he trailed off, staring at the water dripping from Robert’s blonde locks, trying to think of how to continue.

“Something happened today, and it just made me think a lot...” Aaron shrugged, meeting Robert’s eyes. “...and made me feel…I don’t know…sad…angry?”

He appreciated Robert’s nods even though he knew the older man didn’t have a clue what this something was.

He took a deep breath and decided.

“Can we talk about it later?” Aaron asked, shyly.

Talking to Robert did help. It helped Aaron get things off his chest and it helped Robert understand Aaron’s thoughts and feelings better.

Robert played with the ends of Aaron’s wet hair with a soft smile. “Of course.”

Aaron smiled back and reached up with one hand to hold Robert’s chin between his thumb and index finger.

Their wet lips met in soft kiss at first, but Aaron managed to slip his tongue pass Robert’s lips and into his warm mouth.

Robert tightly closed his eyes and hummed deeply as their wandering tongues met.

Aaron pulled away slowly, his cheeks flushing brightly.

As much as they would have loved to continue their passion, they promised of a continuation of it very soon with a final peck.

“Tea and bed?” Robert whispered, stroking Aaron’s damp arms.

Aaron gave him a warm smile, “Read my mind.”

\---

After dressing in plain t-shirts and boxers, with their mugs in their hands, the two men climbed into bed quietly and proceeded to drink their tea in a comfortable silence.

Halfway through his tea, Aaron started to get the dull ache back in his neck again.

He moved his head from side to side and rubbed his neck hard to ease the stiffness. Robert glanced at him with a frown.

“Massage?”

Aaron’s cheeks turned pink. Their massages were rare but when it happened, it was all sorts of goods put together and it was pure bliss.

Aaron nodded shyly, watching Robert place down his tea and root through one of his drawers to retrieve a coconut scented body moisturiser.

Oil was overrated according to him. Robert thought the cream would be better for the skin and less messy. All Aaron wanted was Robert’s hands.

Aaron put down his mug and swiftly moved in between Robert’s legs, sitting flush against his chest.

Robert placed a soft kiss to each shoulder before creaming his hands and started working them over his shoulders first.

He slowly made his way up to his neck, back down to his arms and then back up to his neck again, applying as much pressure as Aaron instructed.

Aaron had to restrain himself from just leaning back into Robert and making the man reach around to his front, so he turned around ignoring both of their bulging boxers and kissed each of his hands.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, lacing their fingers.

Robert smiled and then kissed his hands, making Aaron blush again.

Suddenly, there was a crash and a screech from a cat outside their bedroom window and Robert instantly noticed how Aaron jumped and glance at the window with wide eyes.

He furrowed his brows and rubbed his thigh, calmingly.

“Just a cat, Aaron.” He leaned up to kiss his cheek, making Aaron turn his head back to him.

It was now or never.

“I know...” he nodded and moved so he was sitting beside Robert again.

Robert pulled the blankets up towards their waist against and waited patiently for Aaron to continue.

“I got bit of a fright at the scrapyard this morning...” The younger man began, swallowing a lump in his throat.

Robert placed one of his hands outside the blankets which Aaron took immediately and laced their fingers.

It was a comfort mechanism of theirs. Their laced hands allowed them to feel closer, that it was just the two of them. Together.

“A man came in with some appliances that needed dumping and...” Aaron breathed out slowly, his eyes fixed on the door in front of them.

“He looked just like Gordon, Rob...” Aaron’s face fell as if he had just imagined the man’s face again.

Robert frowned and squeezed his hand.

“I told myself he’ll be gone the minute he finished unloading but he saw this old car Gerry was working in and you know when Gerry is asked questions, he likes to give a lot of unnecessary details in his answers.” Aaron muttered, looking down at their hands.

“Every time I looked at him, I saw Gordon even clearer. Even after he left, I could see him every time I blinked, and I-I proper freaked out. Sent Gerry home, locked up all the yard and even fixed those gates outside that have been broken since we got the house.”

A laugh left Aaron’s lips after he realised how stupid he sounded.

“I wanted to hurt myself, Robert…all because I could picture a man who is dead.”

Robert shuffled closer to him and wrapping an arm around his back, hoping it would comfort the upset man.

“But you didn’t. You need to focus on that now. Yeah, you are going to be reminded of him and it could be anything that will make you think of him. You’re only human, Aaron. It was something that happened to you so all your left it with reminders of it.” Robert whispered, squeezing his hand again.

“You just need to do what you did today and fight past the urge to hurt yourself. Every time you do that, you might find forgetting those reminders will become easier.” Aaron looked at Robert with his red eyes.

“I’m so proud of you. Every day, I become prouder of you. You don’t know your own strength, Aaron.”

Robert unlaced their hands and wiped away his husband’s tears. He ran his fingers down Aaron’s scarred arm and laced their fingers again.

“You have people who will help you through this, Aaron. You know you can come to any of us at any time, yeah?” Robert smiled when Aaron nodded.

“Thank you.” He whispered, leaning over to tenderly kiss his cheek.

Robert turned his head slightly and met his lips in a kiss.

“I love you.” He mumbled against them.

Aaron cupped his cheek, “I love you, too” He replied and pulled him in for another kiss.

He knew he would have bad days like this and there was every possibility he might harm himself again but with Robert’s support, he also knew he will make it past these bad days and become stronger each time.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much for reading x


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